Forgiveness....

I'm working on forgiveness, and believe me its hard, there are some things in my past that I really need to forgive so that I can go on with my life, just imagine how long time I have been carrying  this bagged, at some times it was to heavy and my live was coloured form all the trauma I experienced and the fact that I was not able to tell anyone, thats when I really had hard times, trying to understand my own feelings at the same time I was developing from being a child to adult, this feeling that I was not worth anything and I did not deserve anything good and that  I will never become what I so desire, I didn't have the self esteem to stand up for myself and at that time I was a easy target for people because I thought they would accepted me in their group I did almost everything to fit in.
And thats the worst consequences of all the trauma, to become a victim of people that could sence my sensetivity and my broken soul.

When  the disappointment  began to sink in, they were not my friends they were just using me for their on benefit, it was heartbreaking, took my long time to understand and realise that I was on my own and if I wanted to do something with my life then it was op to myself to take control.
I went away, travelt a lot met many different people some good, some not so good I was very careful not to trust people at first side, tried to give them opportunity to prove themselves,  I also tried to learn to trust my gut feeling, sometimes it was a success but not all the time, it really takes time to trust yourself and to listen to your own feelings.

Now many many years later I'm still working with this things, and I understand how important it's to forgive,  forgiveness can make a big different in my healing process, but of course I try not to put my trust on people at ones, but it does happen,  I still meet people that I trust at ones,  but it takes me shorter time to see that they are not trustworthy, but I want so much to believe that everyone has something good to give, I do believe that, but there are so many people out there which are very sick and have there own problems and trauma which they haven't had any help to work with, or they even don't know that they are sick and need help.  

TO FORGIVE IS HARD BUT I REALLY WANT TO

 IT WILL MAKE MY FEEL BETTER.

FORGIVE AND LOVE YOURSELF YOU'R WORTH IT.💋