When you hit the bottom.....

When we hit the rock bottom which I think all of us do, some of us more often than others which I thought was because we did not learn from our misstakes, I learned later, that's not the case.

Through my life I have made many mistakes some because I did not know better at that time and though, I was doing the right thing, but others, because I was protecting my family, and though that my decision was the only way to do so. The thing is that when you hit the bottom your not able to think right your not able to see the whole picture, your mind is in a survival mode, the problem takes 

 over there is no time to sit down and consider the option you might have, hope is gone, and when hope is gone, there is not much left. There are not many years since I never thought I would be able to sit here In my  home save and happy, seeing my children living a happy fulfilled life, I realize that going through this hard times had big effects on their lives. 

To loose hope a situation like this when you hit the bottom is the worst of all, try to hide this horrible feeling from your children is the worst, at a time like this it's so important to have a strong soulmate and that's what I have been blessed with, my husband and I have always stayed close together holding each other up embrace each other with unconditional love and never blaming each other for the situation we were going through, kept my going.

As years go by I have learned not to judge myself  from the mistakes I have made in life, I have been able after a long period of shame, denials, and of course trying to put the blame on everything and everyone else, realised that everything I did I did for the love of my family and at that time I didn't know better.

I'm no longer defining myself based on the problems/misstakse I have made in life, I believe now that I deserve all the best in the world,  like all of you out there we just have to believe that, and live our lives like we believe it.

Love and huge each other, have faith in your talents, if you do mistake than talk about it to your loved ones find a way out together it's so important to be able to talk, to feel that your loved that your life has a purpose and that you belong were you are.