Fantastic day with a lot of love to myself and all you out there, 

Took a little step to my new future, vent to the place were I really would like to work, met the leader could tell her little about myself, she was very nice and told me to come for a visit when I did not have my dogs with me, dogs are not allowed.

You might be thinking what is so remarkable about this, I fully understand that, it's for me, when you have been fighting for your existence for many months, then this is a success, I was mentally broken, didn't believe in myself and my talent, so this is a step to rebuilding myself, I'm so proud of myself and I know that this will lead to something good I'm sending positive message into the universe.

When I woke up this morning I new that something good was going to happen I felt a big relief like a heavy burden has been taken from my shoulders, I think is because every night I listen to 

Louise Hays 40 minutes every day to chance your life forever, 

its about loving yourself, that you deserve all the best, that you'r unique there is no none in the whole world like you, it's about forgiveness and let go of the past and welcome the future with all that it has to offer me, it's begining to sink in so I will definitely keep on he good work. I'm worth it.

LOVE YOUR SELF LET THE PAST BE THE PAST.

We should close the ring.....

I have thought very much about the consequences of all the trauma, and terrible things I had to go through as a child, how I brought this feelings with me into my family, I know now that it had a big impact on everything, but at that time I didn't know, for me these feelings were normal, how I thought about myself and how I saw the world,  imagine how sick and destructive it was, first when I broke down and all my being collapsed, I learned about all this, I was very lucky to have people around me that helped me to come in contact with someone that are used to work with people coming from very sick circumstances, they helped me to learn about all the damages it had done to me.

After this I've done all I can to work myself through the jungle of all this terrible experiences, I had to dig deep for some, and believe me it was painful and I had to stop many times, it's not done in one day, it has taken me many years and I'm still working, and that's the reason for this blog, I really hope it can help you, it's so important that we who have all this bad experience in our baggage do not carry it on into our children's life, that we can separate our childhoods experience from theirs so that our broken self image, guilt and fear does not effect theirs, they do not deserve that.

I'v  had to stop myself many times when I found myself acting in fear or guilt over for my children, and I know now after they are grown and we have had the opportune to talk about their childhood, that I always have been overprotective, I had to let go and give them permission to live their life without me whacking over them, it was hard but, but they made it💓

It's so important that we are aware of our feelings and don't bring damaged feelings over to our children, that we give them space to learn their own feelings, we can be there if they fall, and perhaps we can use something from our experiences to help them or we can just listen so that they can put words on their feelings and experiences, for me that's healthy relationship between parents and children, we should close the ring.

💖

Love conquers all....

Like I said last time and that is what I’ve believed  all me live and maybe this thought has helped me through many of the worst times in my live. 

My thoughts are the only things that I have full control over and its op to me to use them in a positive way to help me overcome my worst fear, to be able  to forgive, to go on with my healing process. My thoughts are mine and only mine, and from now on I’m only allowing positive, constructive, loving thoughts go through my mind.

It’s going to be a challenge and I know that I will do some mistakes, be annoyed, answering back and all that, but I will always try to remember to love myself and gently push myself up on the track again.

I know that whatever I’ve done good or bad I have done of my best knowledge, and that knowledge I took from the baggage I came with from my upbringing, that’s something I cannot chance but I can chance my thoughts and make them more healthy, I can start by working on my forgiveness, it’s hard and takes time but I know I will be there one day and then I will feel a big relive and a heavy burden taken of me, I look forward to that day.

The hardest think about forgiving is trying to imagine some of these people as a little child and try to set myself into their lives at that time, it brings tears to my eyes how little I know some of them and how little I know about how their childhood was, I just know that it was hard and there was not a lot of love and caring for them, so no wonder that they did not know how to love me, care for me or guide me through hard times, they just looked the other way, that was  the only think they knew and that is what they came with in their baggage.

I sincerely will do all my best to work on this forgiveness so that I can let these people free and myself at the same time.

I want to say, forgive me to my lovely wonderful children for all my mistakes they were not made to hurt you,  they were done with all the love I had, I didn’t know better at that time and I want also to thank you all for loving me so much and supporting me when I’m going through hard times, that is priceless for me and makes me believe that I did something right, I do LOVE you from the bottom of my heart and always will.

My healing process goes on and it will only get better.

💗

Chance your life......

101 Power Thoughts Louise Hay

Im so fortunate to be surrounded be people that love me, and wants all the best for my, that gives my the urge to live every day with love for my self.

One of this people so dear to my, and which I have great respect for, she has dedicated her life to help women to love them self as they are, she lives in Bali where she welcomes this women to come and go through the journey of learning to love them selfs, a great idea, and what I have heart its really helping many women.

I will put the link to her webside at the bottom if you would like to look at it and see if thats anything for you, by the way her name is Osk.

But now to the reason way I mentioned here, that is because she sent me a link to a women named Louise Hay Im sure that some of you have heard about her, but I hadn't heard of her until now, and what a blessing, I got so excited that I had to stop listening, sat myself outside and drank a cup of tea to calm me down, it was overwelminjg to listen to someone that just tells you what you can do to heal yourself from all the hurt, disappointment, betrayal, and all the transboundary I had to tolerate and I have been traveling whit trough my hole live and trying everything you could to understand and not letting it destroy my relationship whit family end friends, this woman knows it all and I encourage you to listen to here, she mide be able to help you, and I really hope so, 

LOVE CONQUERS ALL 💝

osk.is

Forgiveness....

I'm working on forgiveness, and believe me its hard, there are some things in my past that I really need to forgive so that I can go on with my life, just imagine how long time I have been carrying  this bagged, at some times it was to heavy and my live was coloured form all the trauma I experienced and the fact that I was not able to tell anyone, thats when I really had hard times, trying to understand my own feelings at the same time I was developing from being a child to adult, this feeling that I was not worth anything and I did not deserve anything good and that  I will never become what I so desire, I didn't have the self esteem to stand up for myself and at that time I was a easy target for people because I thought they would accepted me in their group I did almost everything to fit in.
And thats the worst consequences of all the trauma, to become a victim of people that could sence my sensetivity and my broken soul.

When  the disappointment  began to sink in, they were not my friends they were just using me for their on benefit, it was heartbreaking, took my long time to understand and realise that I was on my own and if I wanted to do something with my life then it was op to myself to take control.
I went away, travelt a lot met many different people some good, some not so good I was very careful not to trust people at first side, tried to give them opportunity to prove themselves,  I also tried to learn to trust my gut feeling, sometimes it was a success but not all the time, it really takes time to trust yourself and to listen to your own feelings.

Now many many years later I'm still working with this things, and I understand how important it's to forgive,  forgiveness can make a big different in my healing process, but of course I try not to put my trust on people at ones, but it does happen,  I still meet people that I trust at ones,  but it takes me shorter time to see that they are not trustworthy, but I want so much to believe that everyone has something good to give, I do believe that, but there are so many people out there which are very sick and have there own problems and trauma which they haven't had any help to work with, or they even don't know that they are sick and need help.  

TO FORGIVE IS HARD BUT I REALLY WANT TO

 IT WILL MAKE MY FEEL BETTER.

FORGIVE AND LOVE YOURSELF YOU'R WORTH IT.💋

When you hit the bottom.....

When we hit the rock bottom which I think all of us do, some of us more often than others which I thought was because we did not learn from our misstakes, I learned later, that's not the case.

Through my life I have made many mistakes some because I did not know better at that time and though, I was doing the right thing, but others, because I was protecting my family, and though that my decision was the only way to do so. The thing is that when you hit the bottom your not able to think right your not able to see the whole picture, your mind is in a survival mode, the problem takes 

 over there is no time to sit down and consider the option you might have, hope is gone, and when hope is gone, there is not much left. There are not many years since I never thought I would be able to sit here In my  home save and happy, seeing my children living a happy fulfilled life, I realize that going through this hard times had big effects on their lives. 

To loose hope a situation like this when you hit the bottom is the worst of all, try to hide this horrible feeling from your children is the worst, at a time like this it's so important to have a strong soulmate and that's what I have been blessed with, my husband and I have always stayed close together holding each other up embrace each other with unconditional love and never blaming each other for the situation we were going through, kept my going.

As years go by I have learned not to judge myself  from the mistakes I have made in life, I have been able after a long period of shame, denials, and of course trying to put the blame on everything and everyone else, realised that everything I did I did for the love of my family and at that time I didn't know better.

I'm no longer defining myself based on the problems/misstakse I have made in life, I believe now that I deserve all the best in the world,  like all of you out there we just have to believe that, and live our lives like we believe it.

Love and huge each other, have faith in your talents, if you do mistake than talk about it to your loved ones find a way out together it's so important to be able to talk, to feel that your loved that your life has a purpose and that you belong were you are.

Childhood..

How was your childhood is a question often asked, that's understandable for we believe that's what makes us whom we are. I have worked with children my whole life it has been my passion it has given me lots of fantastic time where I have enjoyed children's sincerity, happiness, and there honest way to approach every project. Children in preschool make there first steps in learning the social skills which they will use in the preschool life, and hopefully generally in their future,

it's in the preschool they adopt the ability to be in a group, where  they have to take into account the needs of others, some children are very good in all this social skills from start, while others need help to be able to understand all this new challenges that the preschool life brings to them, I never look at a child as the bad or good ones I always see them as who they are what is they're background they're family, and most and foremost I always try as much as possible to involve parents when I'm working with a child,  we often say that we all are different, that's the same with children, and our job is not to make all children alike it's to make them believe in their self be a strong independent individual, that is there the we, preschool teacher comes in and uses all the experience and knowledge we have to guide this children so that theyr preschool life will be a success and so that the go from there to school as a strong individual happy child, too be able to experience that is what I love about working with children when I can use my experience, and knowledge to be there for ”my children”

I often wondered if there has never been some researcher that have been interested in doing a study on preschool children, because that's a very important time in their live and I believe for their future, if you know about any kind of research in that field then please let me know. 

CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE ❤️

Don't worry ....

Worrying about to morrow, my children, my husband, my friends, my work, my finance has always been one of my worst enemy, mostly because I could not control all of this, that's inpossible, so worrying and not being able to do anything about all of this took a lot of energy, gave me sleepless nights, and often irritating my children and my husband because I m asking to many questions that can not be answered.

But worrying about everyone else has made me forget to think about myself, I have given all my
energy to try to make sure that everyone else are okay, sometimes this has been so bad that I most of all want to take their problem over so that they don't have to worry.
That's from my point of view taking care of everyone, to make sure that they are okay I feel like that's  my  responsibility, this feeling has been a part of my life for so long time that it is hard for me suddenly to look the other way, sure everyone is doing well, I just have this strong urge to make everyone happy, is that so wrong?
No it's not, but if I want to be there for my familie and friends being able to work with that I love, it's important to listen to my own feelings take care of  myself so that I can be able to be there for them.

LOVE YOURSELF THEN YOUR ABEL TO LOVE OTHERS❤️

Who are you?...

I m a mother, wife, grandmother, friend, preschool teacher, coworker, this roles have been very dominating and controlling in my life, I'm of course still in some of those roles and loving it, but this past months I have thought very much about my personal identity, who am I this woman Diana,  when I'm suddenly not are going to work every day, something that I have done since I was a teenager, my children don't need me as before, I can borrow my grandchildren but don't have anything to do with their future, except loving them.

I realise that I have put myself aside for all those roles and now when I don't have them in my everyday life I am forced to consider who I am??

That is what I have been working on this past months it has been challenging and very important for me, this work is not over yet and perhaps will never be.

But I know now that, we must never forget ourselves and let the roles in our lives take over, when they're time is over, who are you then.

LOVE YOUR ROLES IN LIVE! 

BUT ALWAYS BE YOUSELF❤️